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himelistic:

why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs 

academy:

Expensive?
Very expensive.

- The fault in prices of clothes

weedjoke420:

no offense but what the fuck am i doing

black-quadrant:

I’ve mastered the skill of feeling guilty for asking for anything

unfollovving:

pornstarwars:

i got a valentine this year 

What cheat code did u use

punkwarren:

striderdaves:

i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search

i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement

rneerkat:

an sentence like this makes me feel uncomfortable

humancum:

Talking on Skype:

5% = Hi, how are you?

95% = Can you hear me?

goesinmybutt:

hows everyone? watching shit anime? ya me too

  • me: *walks up to a group of middle schoolers skateboarding*
  • me: lemme show you a trick or two
  • middle schoolers: *hand me a board*
  • me: this one's called stealing
  • me: *runs away with it*